You wouldn’t believe it, the singer states. There she was readying for her new album launch in eight years, deeply enamored with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for a decade, riding high. Then in spring she was diagnosed with a breast cancer diagnosis.
The artist, birth name Jess Cornish, is known for telling it as it is. The LP, her latest release, was intended as an candid account, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d experienced since she last recorded music (endometriosis, miscarriage, broken romances, psychological manipulation, suicide) with typical candour. The lead track, the song No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. Her diagnosis. Later follow-up track, Living My Best Life, was released in May and she was speaking publicly about how she was living her best life, while all the while dealing with the disease. A month later she shared the news, and in the start of summer she received surgical treatment.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every press talk, and they ask, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to postpone shows because she’s still waiting for follow-up surgery.
We meet at a studio in London. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with ornate white designs, beige footwear and large glasses. Picture biker chic meets vintage look. “I feel like I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, recalling the movie. “They used to call me that!” She grins. She is fast-thinking, irreverent and blunt. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is aiming for her initial standup show next year. “I enjoy humor. During performances I frequently joke about the fans.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was preparing for an appearance at the Baftas when she discovered a mass. “I promptly visited to get it checked, had an ultrasound, and they told me, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I was, like, ‘Yet I sense it. I have arm pain and tingling in my hands whenever I wake up.’ And they said, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the post-birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was concerning she’d call on the Monday. By then the singer had convinced herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was simply too inconvenient to get cancer when she had a busy schedule.
“It was a fortnight prior from debuting the project after a long hiatus and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I jump on the Zoom thinking it’s all going to be fine, and she informs me, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have shown aggressive cancer.’” What was your reaction? “I replied, ‘Well, that’s not great. The timing is terrible.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. They lead you. During crises you roll down in a bed, but now I just walked with a hospital gown and my rear exposed. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been blessed. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my affected breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” Another grin. “At least the nipple remains.”
The next operation is for health and appearance. Her boobs, she notes, are now “uneven. The implant is larger than before. So inconsiderate! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a hard period. So rude! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be flawless. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Past Medical Issues
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She believes her attitude toward illness has been so optimistic because she’s used to medical emergencies. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘Things going well? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has consistently accompanied achievements for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”
She reminisces to her childhood, already making her debut performing in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of nine). That’s when she was told about the medical problem Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and irregular beats. “I rehearsed between visits on an intravenous line, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead several years, and 17-year-old Jess has joined the girl group the group while attending the performing arts school. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I was unable to vocalize for a twelve months.”
Hey, I say, wait, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
